According to its top definition on UrbanDictionary.com, Los Angeles is nothing more than a “massive tangle of highways and roads, also rumored to contain people and houses.” That sounds discouraging, but the truth is that it really depends on which part of town you live in. The Los Angeles County area contains a hugely diverse selection of neighborhoods, satellite cities and suburbs. Here’s a look at some of the best and worst reviewed parts of the southland on Urban Dictionary.
So you’ve decided to move to Los Angeles. Congratulations. But your biggest decision lies ahead of you: which neighborhood to move into to. LA, after all, contains multitudes, hundreds of neighborhoods each with their own identity that will stick to you like a bad odor. Plant your flag in Silverlake, Marina Del Rey or Thousands Oaks and whomever you are sitting next to at your next dinner party will think they know everything there is to know about you. Here’s our guide to picking where you are in fact meant to be.
Sad news from Malibu, where the SM Mirrorreports that a transient has been arrested for brutally murdering a pelican near Malibu Pier:
The witness said a man, later identified as 30 year-old Suspect Sergio Alvarez, had a pelican by its throat and was choking it with both hands. Witnesses told deputies the pelican flapped its wings in distress until its body went limp and died.
Our hearts go out to our dearly departed feathered friend and we’d like to respectfully ask that the next time someone with homicidal urges visits the Malibu Pier, they kindly consider directing their ire a few blocks to the south toward patrons of the newly opened Larry Ellison-owned branch of Nobu, instead of harming a poor, defenseless animal.
Don Bankhead of Fullerton, California, which Wikipedia tells me is located in Orange County, is running for City Council. Again. After being recalled by voters. Twice. From Le Times:
“You elected me to the City Council because you trusted me to do what is in the best interest of Fullerton,” Bankhead wrote in the filing. “You can still count on me to do everything possible to keep our great city safe and economically strong.”
But what kind of messed up city elects a man they just recalled, and then re-elects him? OC, you deserve Don Bankhead.
Moreno Valley school boardmember Mike Rios will stand trial on charges of pimping, pandering, attempted manslaughter and rape. According to the AP:
In one case, Rios is accused of 11 felonies including pimping, pandering and two counts of rape. Two of the victims in the pimping allegations are underage girls.
In another case, a judge ruled Rios should stand trial on two counts of attempted voluntary manslaughter and two counts of assault with a deadly weapon. Prosecutors allege Rios fired shots at two men in front of his house after a bar fight earlier in the evening.
If you think that’s wild, check out the dude’s website.